


a toast to the groom (to the groom, to the groom, to the groom)

by Seito



Series: bad boyfriend Iggy [3]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Episode Ignis Verse 2, Fix-It, Humor, M/M, Post-Canon Fix-It, Weddings, in which everyone is gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-08-05 16:33:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16371173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seito/pseuds/Seito
Summary: “Alise,” Ignis started. “Do you know why people keep congratulating me on my upcoming nuptials?”A smile twitched on her face. “That depends,” she said, glee creeping into her tone.Ignis felt a cold sweat break out. It was never a good sign when she used that tone. “On?”“On when you were going to tell me that you’re dating Gladio, Prompto and Noctis,” Alise said plainly, as if she was discussing the weather.Ignis choked. “How?” Ignis asked.(Or it's been months since Ardyn's defeat and dawn's return. There's plenty to rebuild and yet no matter what, the rumor mill is still chugging along at full speed.)





	a toast to the groom (to the groom, to the groom, to the groom)

**Author's Note:**

> honestly, I have no idea where this fic came from. It just slapped me in the face and demanded to be written one day.
> 
> The title is from Satisfied from Hamilton.

Something was wrong.

Ignis allowed himself to let out a tired sigh. There was so much to do. Dawn had come back and the daemons were gone, but there was still so much more rebuilding and cleaning left to do. Insomnia, for all that she was battered and broken, was slowly becoming a beacon for hope and people were trickling back in, trying to get a glimpse at the King of Light, their savior.

And Noct… Ignis felt his heart twist and swell with love. Noctis was alive, still weak and tired, but alive. That vision Ignis had seen in Altissia did not come to pass. It had been touch and go for a while and Ignis had feared that their tightly knit group of four would permanently be reduced to three, that they would lose Noct just after they had gotten him back, but Noctis was a fighter and he clung onto them as fiercely as they had clung to him.

The road trip, ten years ago, had redefined them and their relationships with each other. Before it was just him and Gladio, Noctis and Prompto, and somewhere along the way, they had intermingled together, blurring the lines. Where did one line end and the other begin? Who knew.

Ignis loved those three with all of his heart.

Which was why it was very puzzling that people kept congratulating him on his wedding.

Because as far as Ignis knew, none of his boyfriends had proposed. They hadn't even begun to discuss it or even address the dualhorn in the room that was Noctis’ heir. So then why?

“Alise,” Ignis started.

His best friend (and former betrothal) blinked at him, curious.

They had resumed their weekly Friday meetings (or rather Ignis had been thrown at her by Gladio under orders from Noctis to take a break) ever since Alise had shown up in Insomnia.

Truly, it had been a blessing to discover she and her brother had survived Insomnia’s Fall and the ten years of darkness that followed. Ignis had confirmed his uncle's passing with the Fall. Alise and Niks were the last bit of family he had left, after Noctis, Prompto and Gladio.

He had been to happy to see she had survived, that he had stopped mid-conversation with Ravus to sweep her into a tight hug when he had spotted her walking down the hallway, looking for him.

“Yes?” Alise asked.

“Do you know why people keep congratulating me on my upcoming nuptials?”

Since their arrival, Niks had fallen into his old role as council member, but as an _**efficient**_ council member. He brought to Noctis solutions for repairs, helped Ignis wrangle the finer details and logistics of moving people from the unprotected outposts to Insomnia and help maintained some sort of government and ruling body.

Alise on the other hand, put her social butterfly skills to the use and turned herself into some sort of page/messenger/informant. She was always out and about, interacting with people who trickled into Insomnia. She noted down major issues and complaints, delivering the information to the correct people as required. A temporary measure for now until they worked out a better communications plan, but an important one. So much so, Alise had re-established herself as Ignis’ go-to person for gossip.

A smile twitched on her face. “That depends,” she said, glee creeping into her tone.

Ignis felt a cold sweat break out. It was never a good sign when she used that tone. “On?”

“On when you were going to tell me that you’re dating Gladio, Prompto and Noctis,” Alise said plainly, as if she was discussing the weather.

Ignis choked. “How?” Ignis asked. They had been all so busy, there hadn't even been time to do anything but a few stolen kisses in the privacy of their shared bedroom.

Alise merely raised her eyebrow.

Ignis groaned. “At least tell me that you're the only one who knows.”

Alise grinned. “Well, Niks figured it out due to the fact that you and His Majesty make him feel like a third wheel in the meeting rooms. He asked me if you had broken up with Gladio.”

Ignis could only groan.

“But I can safely say that the public doesn't knows the four of you are sleeping together,” Alise said warmly.

Her expression turned fond. “Do you love them?” she asked.

Ignis felt his heart skip a beat. “Yes,” he whispered.

Alise's smile grew warmer. “And they make you happy?”

Ignis smiled. “Immensely so.”

“Then there are no worries,” Alise said. “I'll just pass on my blessings.”

That was wonderful. He didn’t need her blessing, but knowing that she did, was a small weight off his chest. But it didn’t answer the question.

“The congratulations?” Ignis asked.

“I’m already working on damage control,” Alise said. “Don’t worry about it.”

Well, if it was someone could spin the rumor mill, it would be Alise. Perhaps he could convince her to take up the PR position that they would eventually need someone to fulfill.

“Very well,” Ignis said. “I don’t suppose I could convince you to come with me to my next meeting. I’m meeting Aranea.”

Alise quirked up an eyebrow. “Are you trying to set me up on a date?”

Ignis stopped the sly grin from spreading across his face. “Perhaps.”

-.-.-

“Hello Prompto.”

Prompto turned around, lighting up. “Alise!”

Alise was waltzed into the room, like she had owned it. Prompto had to admire that about her. She was always sure-footed, confident in what she did. He didn’t really know her, not in the way the other guys knew her. Not the same social circles after all. So all he had ever known her was through the few stories Ignis was willing to share.

She handed him a stack of papers. “This is the list of issues people have discovered today. Most of them are repeats, no running water in this district, power flickering in another, the usual,” she said.

“Thanks Alise,” Prompto said, taking the papers. “You’re such a big help.”

Alise waved her hand. “Nonsense. All I’m doing it collecting information. You’re the one who is helping Ignis to turn it in solutions.”

Prompto ducked his head, blushing. These days, he was acting like Ignis’ secretary. Noctis’ one too, actually. There was so much to do. Cor and Gladio were handling the influx of hunters and newly reformed Crownsguard. A bunch of buildings had been cleared as structurally sound and able to house people. Traders and merchants were setting up shops, bringing much needed supplies. They already had greenhouses they had used back in Lestallum built and providing food to people.

Power was a bit touch and go, heavy damage to the instructure during the Fall. But the ladies from Exineris were already working on the issue and it was just a matter of time before it was stable. Communications on the other hand, that would take longer. It had been a long time since phone calls could be made.

Yeah. There was a lot to do. “Yeah, but you’re acting as our information network right now. We kinda need that,” Prompto said.

Alise shrugged. “People want to talk. His Majesty will need to make a public appearance soon. The public is clambering to see him.”

“I’m… not sure if he’s up for that,” Prompto said hesitantly.

So… it was mildly weird to see his usually lazy friend throw himself into fixing Insomnia. But really, Noctis’ body couldn’t really keep up, was still healing. Honestly, it’s been months since they defeated Ardyn and Prompto was still feeling the tingle of magic running through his veins when they had accompanied Noctis to Beyond to land the final blow and then refused to let the Gods take Noctis away.

So Noctis had been stuck to a wheelchair most days (much to his annoyance) and the meetings he held with just about everyone kept him pretty tired.

Alise shrugged. “Even if it’s for a simple celebration. Or a wedding. Something happy and full of energy. I would normally suggest a nice speech, short and simple, but it isn’t like we have television and radio stations up and running.”

Prompto gave a thoughtful hum. “We could probably do a celebration. Something casual. It would be good to get out and just meet people. We’ve been cooped up for long, they probably think we’re dead.”

Alise laughed. “Yes, I’ve heard that rumor.”

“I mean, I suck at this whole royalty thing,” Prompto confessed. “Can we do something “casual”? Cause I’m literally thinking something like Lestallum’s food stalls, no fancy ballroom dancing, no fancy outfits.”

Alise shrugged. “Why not? New era. Let’s throw out the stuffy rules. I for one will thank every Astral for never having to sit through three hours of makeup and hair again. Or tight corset dresses.”

Prompto laughed. “I don’t blame you.”

“Here, let’s make sure the gardens and ballroom are free on this date,” Alise said, scribing a note down for Prompto. “And then you let me handle the planning.”

Prompto blinked. “You sure? You’re already doing so much.”

Alise waved her hand. “Please, Prompto. My training is how to host a proper party and all the planning that goes into that. You already have so much on your plate and there isn’t any way I’m letting Ignis handle this.”

“Ignis needs to take a break,” Prompto said solemnly. Ignis worked the hardest of them all. And admittedly, he was the best suited for this kind of work.

Alise nodded in agreement. She reached out to grasp Prompto’s hands. “Which brings me the other reason why I’m here today. You’ll take care of Ignis won’t you?”

Prompto sputtered. “Of course. He’s my friend.”

Alise raised an eyebrow. “Prompto, dear, I know.”

Prompto squeaked. “How?!”

“Ignis remains very easy to read,” Alise said cheerfully.

Prompto thought Ignis was the hardest to read! “Oh Six, does he know that you know?”

“Of course! I always confront Ignis first,” Alise said.

“Gladio’s right, you’re kinda terrifying,” Prompto said.

“Is that so?” Alise said.

Prompto squeaked and covered his mouth. “I said nothing!” he yelped.

She gave him an amused look and reached to grasp his hands again. “You four are happy?” she asked.

“Y-yeah,” Prompto said. He could trust her with this right? They hadn’t really talked about how they were (if they would even) go public about this.

“Good,” Alise said. “Then as I told Gladio fourteen years ago, I entrust Ignis in your hands. You take good care of him.”

Prompto blushed. “Yeah. Thank you Alise.”

“Last question,” Alise said. “Chocolate or vanilla?”

“Err chocolate?”

“Good to know.”

-.-.-

Gladio had a healthy respect for Alise. For a number of reasons. First off, she was important to Ignis, practically family. Second, he wouldn’t have been dating Ignis without her. Third, she was mildly terrifying, something, he assumed, she learned from Ignis.

So he really didn’t like the look at her eyes as she came marching into the new Crownsguard training yard.

“Sir Gladiolus,” she said.

“You always call me Gladio,” he pointed out.

She hummed, a glint her eye growing sharper. “I’ve heard from a chocobo that you think I’m terrifying.”

Gladio was going to kill Prompto. “Fuck. I didn’t mean-”

“I know,” Alise said, sounding more amused than upset. “Is that the reason why you failed to tell me your relationship increased from two to four? I’m hurt. I’ve seen you more than Ignis since coming back to Insomnia and you didn’t tell me.”

Gladio choked. “How?” They were being discreet!!

“Ignis is easy to read,” Alise said with a smile.

No, he wasn’t. Then again Alise and Ignis were childhood friends.

Alise reached to pat him on the arm. “I’m not upset, well no, I am upset that it wasn’t the first thing I was told, but I’ve long learn to expect that from Ignis. And you, apparently. I’m just here to reaffirm that you still have my blessing and to thank you for dragging Ignis to our weekly Friday meeting, on time even!”

“Iggy needed the break,” Gladio said with a cough. “And I’m sorry. We… just haven’t had time to discuss much about it yet.”

Right now it was enough to just collapse together onto a bed together.

Alise hummed. “You realize Noctis is King and surrogates are thing,” she helpfully pointed out.

Yeah. But. It wasn’t that easy. What kind of message would they be sending if Noctis just up and went married one of them? Which one of them? Probably Prompto, honestly.

“Just one more thing,” Alise said. “Favorite colors.”

“Green and blue,” Gladio said instantly.

“Eye colors,” Alise said, rolling her eyes. “You are a terrible romantic.”

“Eh, they love it,” Gladio said smug. Oh sure, Noctis still made a twisted face at all of Gladio’s (few surviving) romance novels. Ignis criticized everything about their motives. But at least Prompto was willing to sit and listen. During those dark years, Prompto and Ignis would return with a new book, found mixed in the supplies for him and now, Noctis would just curl up on Gladio’s chest and listened to Gladio read.

Small moments like those got Gladio through the day.

“And that’s all that matters,” Alise said with a fond smile.

-.-.-

“You’re looking better, Your Majesty.”

Noctis huffed, pouring a cup of cold tea. “Informal, Alise. You call everyone else by their first name.”

Alise waved her hand, accepting the cup of tea. “Old habits,” she said.

“So, what’s up?” Noctis asked. “Not that I’m not happy to see you, but you don’t usually come all the way to my rooms to visit.”

“Oh, just wanted a slightly more private setting,” Alise said. “You’re dating Prompto, Ignis and Gladio.” It was a statement, not a question.

Noctis choked. “Oh fuck. You know.”

“Ignis is easy to read,” Alise said, sipping her tea.

Noctis let out a hysterical laugh. “He really is.” Ignis was terribly hard to read to everyone else, but Noctis had known him since Noctis was three and he knew Ignis’ tells. He supposed it was the same thing for Alise.

He felt a twinge of guilt. “Are you okay with that?” he asked, meekly, feeling like he was twenty years old again and unsure of everything.

Alise blinked. “You love them, and they love you, correct?”

“Yeah,” Noctis said.

“And you’re happy, yes?” Alise asked.

“Yeah,” Noctis said, feeling the swell of love. He was. He hadn’t expected any of this, didn’t expect to get his happy ending.

“Then why do you think I wouldn’t be okay with this?” Alise asked, frowning.

Noctis swallowed. “Because this is yet another way I’m taking Ignis from you,” he said. This… this was something he had just barely grasped ten years ago. He was older, wiser, and had the time to look back.

It said a lot that he met Alise formally, through balls and political events. That Ignis never brought her around before. Noctis hadn’t realized how much she had meant to Ignis until the Fall had happened. The first person Noctis had tried to call was his dad. Gladio tried for his father, then Iris. Prompto hadn’t tried at all.

Ignis called Alise first.

And was devastated when he couldn't reach her or her brother.

They were friends, good friends, practically siblings and Noctis had never noticed that. Alise had mentioned a few times, offhandedly, that Ignis had stood her up. Noctis’ fuzzy memories told him those dates coincide with Ignis being with him.

Noctis had always known that Ignis went above and beyond duty and adding things like love into the mix made everything blurry, but Noctis never wanted to put Ignis into a position where he was choosing them over his family either.

Noctis and Ignis had been joint to the hip since they were kids and it never occurred to Noctis that maybe, Ignis had other friends he wanted to hang out with, that maybe yeah, in another world, he and Alise would have made the most amazing couple in the world.

“Ah,” Alise said, placing down her cup. “Well, I used to resent you for that.”

Noctis winced.

“Up until he met you, Ignis was my best friend. Then one day he was whisked off to the Citadel and the next thing I knew I was only seeing him during our shared lessons, holidays and occasional weekends when my father was all but forcing us to spend time together,” Alise said, eyes half closed and lost in the memories.

“I made peace with the fact that his duty to you was always to come first when he skipped my twelfth birthday,” Alise continued. “For two reasons. First he had told me you had trouble sleeping and that particular night before, the night terrors were so bad, you couldn’t sleep and Ignis read to you until the sun rose the next morning.”

Noctis remembered that. He used to be so afraid of sleeping after the everything that happened with Marilith and Tenebrae attacks. His dad’s presence and Ignis’ soft words were the only reason he fell asleep and Carbuncle was the only reason why he stayed asleep and got rest. But sometimes it had been too much, too overwhelming and night terrors haunted him.

“It wasn’t your fault, but it proved to me that you were important to Ignis, more than me. But between you and me, who was suffering more? Who needed Ignis more? Me, the birthday girl, or you who had been through something traumatic?” Alise shrugged. “When I looked at it that way, it was easy to see the decision Ignis made.”

“Ah,” Noctis said, shifting uncomfortable. “The second reason?”

Alise grinned. “A very pretty girl kissed me.”

 _ **Oh**_ **.** He didn’t know that about Alise.

“Frankly,” Alise said, “the most surprising thing fourteen years ago was figuring out that Ignis had a crush on Gladio and not _**you**_.”

Noctis let out a strangled noise. Yeah, sometimes Ignis’ devotion was tad overwhelming. Gladio’s one too, even Prompto’s but theirs never burned so brightly compared to Ignis’. Duty and love, so closely intertwined.

“Well, I was a bit of a brat back then,” Noctis graciously recovered.

“Hmm, the way Ignis tells it, you still are,” Alise said cheekily.

“Iggy,” Noctis groaned.

“Please make sure you don’t overwork him,” Alise said dryly.

“You have my permission to drag him away from any meeting, at any time if you feel that,” Noctis said.

“I’ll hold you to that,” Alise said. “And with that, you have my full blessing.”

Noctis felt his cheeks burn. It was nice to know that someone supported them. “Thank you.”

“Humor me with one more question,” Alise said. “Favorite flower?”

“Sylleblossoms,” Noctis said with a touch wistfulness. Luna’s face flashed in his mind.

Alise hummed in delight. “Good to know.”

-.-.-

“So,” Noctis said, later that night. They were all cuddled together on the bed. “Alise knows.”

Prompto squeaked and Gladio groaned. Ignis just hung his head.

“What did she do?” Ignis asked.

“Your best friend/sister is so bloody terrifying,” Gladio complained. “Did she pick that up from you or did you pick that up from her?”

Ignis raised an eyebrow. “Are you saying I’m terrifying?”

“You are pretty terrifying, Iggy,” Prompto said. “The way you do that twist flip with polearms or silence a room with just a single glance.”

“It’s hot,” Noctis said.

“Yeah,” Gladio agreed.

Ignis blushed. “That’s-!”

“Love you too, Iggy,” Noctis said, pressing a kiss into Ignis’ shoulder.

-.-.-

“What are your contingency plans for your relationship,” Alise asked.

Another Friday, another meeting. Ignis set down a plate of chocolate souffle in front of her. Alise let out a happy sign and cut straight down the middle, letting the chocolate outside ooze out.

“Don't let anyone find out,” Ignis mused.

Alise snorted. “Please. You know full well that it isn't going to remain a secret. All it will take is one little stolen kiss, a witness and perfect timing and everyone will be turned into a frenzy. The rumor mill will explode. It isn't like when we were younger and there are others nobles to focus on and cause scandals. Noctis is King. On top of that, he is Savior, Lightbringer, the King of Kings. People are going to be watching closely.”

Ignis felt a twinge of annoyance. “I know, but-”

But. Ignis knew Noctis would want to keep this private, just them. Gladio too. And Prompto would agree to whatever. There was the expectancy of Noctis to take a Queen. The chaos that would fallout if people found out that the top four members of their government were sleeping together.

“Noctis is King and he makes the rules. Anyone who has issues with the four of you being together can go live somewhere else. Like Tenebrae. I'm sure King Ravus will accept them,” Alise said.

“That's not the point,” Ignis insisted.

He took a deep breath. “We haven't discussed it, but… I assume Noctis will be marrying Prompto publicly. Prompto is the best choice, his position isn't so closely tied to Noctis, like Gladio and I are. Not to mention the public will adore Prompto. He's practically sunshine. I'm not sure if Gladio and I will ever marry, it largely depends on big of a scandal that will cause. And we will… continue on being as discreet as possible.”

Alise gave him a piercing look. “And what do you really want?”

“If I could, I would shout from the rooftops how much I love them,” Ignis said quietly.

Gladio, Noctis and Prompto meant the world to him. He wanted to tell that to everyone, wanted to hiss at every inappropriate whistle and leering look that got throw at his lovers. They had been together for so long, went through so much, faced the gods, saved the world and came out so much stronger for it.

They were his. He was theirs.

“Then,” Alise said softly, “I strongly recommend you talk to your boyfriends about that.”

-.-.-

In hindsight, Ignis should have known that was the calm before the storm.

Early one morning Alise broke into their bedroom. “Get up!” she hissed.

Gladio, ever the fighter, was the first one to his feet. “What's wrong? Who do I need to kill?”

“Daemons? Assassins?” Ignis followed up.

“Alise!” Prompto gasped, blushing a bright red. “We’re naked!” He pulled the blanket closer to his chest.

Alise barely batted an eyelash. “And it's a good thing I don't care about the male body,” she said.

Ignis buried his head in his hands. “Alise…”

“Get up,” Alise repeated. “There's a wedding today and you are all in the wedding party. I'm trusting you all to get dressed. Suits and formal wear, just wear the same ones from Noctis’ coronation.” She glanced at Noctis who was still sleeping without care. “Get him up too.”

“What wedding?” Gladio asked.

“I thought there was a festival today?” Prompto asked.

“Questions later,” Alise said, pivoting on her heel to turn and leave. “Just get dressed!”

-.-.-

“Anyone have any idea what's going on?” Noctis asked.

Everyone turned to Ignis. The four of them were gathered in the room Alise had told them to come to, dressed in the same outfits from Noctis’ coronation months ago.

Ignis merely sighed. “No, I don't know what Alise is planning.”

The door opened, revealing Niks. “There you are,” Niks said.

“Niks,” Noctis said. “Do you know what's going on?”

Niks arched an eyebrow. “Alise didn't tell you?”

“Not at all,” Ignis said. Something curled in his stomach as he realized the family ornaments Niks was wearing, something far more formal than the casual suit he had taken to.

Niks clapped a hand on Ignis shoulder. “Well, let me start off by start saying, Ignis you're like a little brother to me.” He gave Noctis a respectful nod. “Your Majesty, you are my king.”

“Okay…” Noctis said.

“That said, I adore my sister and when push comes to shove, I will defend her to my dying breath,” Niks said solemnly. “So don't be too angry at her about the wedding.”

Ignis couldn't help but stare at Niks. Something was just not adding up. A wedding? Whose wedding? On top of that a wedding that all four of them were part of the ceremony? It couldn't be Iris, Gladio would know. Cor was never getting married. Clearly it wasn't any of them.

Alise’s wedding? Surely she would have told him.

“And here you go, pretty girl.”

And there, landing on the balcony of the room, came Aranea carrying Alise. Alise who was wearing a wedding dress.

Ignis let out a strangled sound. So maybe she would find someone, get engaged, plan a wedding and not tell Ignis.

Aranea put Alise down and saunter over to Ignis. She smacked him on the arm, grinning. “Well I've completely misjudged you, Specs. But your bride is pretty crazy. Found her trying to climb out the window of the other room. Thought she was getting cold feet but no, she just wanted to see you.”

Wait.

_**What.** _

Bride!??????

“Alise, what is going on?” Ignis croaked.

“Oh I'm not marrying Ignis,” Alise said at the same time.

Aranea raised an eyebrow. “That's not what the invitation said.”

“I know exactly what the invitation says. It's wrong,” Alise said. She looked at Ignis, giving him a sharp look. “We are not getting married, right?”

“No!” Ignis said.

“Absolutely not,” Gladio rumbled.

“What he said,” Prompto said.

“I'll make it a royal degree if I have to,” Noctis said firmly.

“I thought the four of you were banging back I first met you guys,” Aranea said. “All that pining when the big guy was gone. It's why the invitation was a surprise. So… what is going on?”

Alise let out an exasperated sigh. “These four idiots are in a relationship. And someone didn't get the memo that Ignis and I haven't been betroth to each other in over fourteen years and since Ignis is one of the four most popular people in Insomnia right now people thought it would be such a happy occasion to see him wed to his childhood friend, a symbol of the brighter future we now face.”

“This is why people keep congratulating me?” Ignis croaked.

“Very much so,” Alise said.

“I thought you said not to worry about it,” Ignis said, rubbing his forehead.

“And I mean it,” Alise said. “The plan here is for you four to go out there and get married. Any combination of you four, whether it is just Ignis and Gladio or Ignis and Prompto or Ignis and Noctis, but someone is getting married to Ignis today and it isn't me.”

She softened. “Look, I know I shouldn't have sprung this all, but really the best possible outcome here for you four to go out there and get married.”

“Can't you just cancel the wedding?” Prompto asked.

“Well, if Ignis is willing to bear the reputation that he left me at the altar,” Alise said.

“Why did you let it get this far?” Gladio asked.

“I didn't. It snowballed this far by itself, through pure speculation and goodwill of the people. Everyone wanted take part, people were willing to bring food for free, saw that fabric and dishes was delivered, the musicians volunteered their time without requesting a paycheck and it has been quite the talk of the city, which you four should have known if you would just go outside every once and a while,” Alise said.

She threw an annoyed look at Ignis. “I found out myself when _King Ravus gifted me a wedding dress._ ”

With a touch of hysteria, Ignis realized that dress looked familiar. “Lady Lunafreya’s dress,” he said.

“Oh,” Noctis said, equally strangled.

“On a scale of one to ten, how livid are you, Alise?” Ignis asked weakly.

“I was gifted a wedding dress. I was gifted _Lady Lunafreya’s_ wedding dress. The invitations were already printed and sent out before I found out. I’ve spent the last month sampling cake, picking color choices, and telling everyone no, I really don’t need a maid of honor. Thousands of people have come to congratulate me,” Alise said, tone flat and devoid of emotion.

“I was getting ready to throw you and Gladio under the bus and spin the whole thing as a miscommunication and you had asked me to do the wedding planning. It was a good plan. I was going to pull the plug. And then someone comes to me about a rumor about how you were getting a little close to Prompto, then I watched closer your interaction with Noctis and Prompto and the pieces started falling into place.”

Alise let out a frustrated sigh. “You didn’t tell me, Ignis! How am I supposed to protect you if you don’t tell me your important relationships? By the time I got you to admit that, it became even more apparent pulling the plug on the wedding would only result in a blow to your reputation, we currently can’t afford it and lower morale of the entire city, which again, we can’t afford to do that right now.”

“Alise,” Ignis said weakly. Fourteen years later and he was still not treating her right.

She was correct. The only way to savage this was to get married today. Ignis couldn’t afford a scandal to his name right now. There was so much left to do right now with the restructuring. He would lose the trust of people at this rate.

“Don’t you dare apologize,” Alise snapped.

She placed her hands on her hips. “So who is going out there?”

-.-.-

Everyone excitedly gathered in the ballrooms, whispering excitedly. Lucian black with touches of green covered the ballroom. Far and few, sylleblossoms were decorated, a hint of blue. Chairs for nearly everyone, a good majority of the public had arrive to see the wedding. What happy occasion this would be.

At the altar was Count Ignis Scientia. Standing next to him was Lord Gladiolus Amicitia and Lord Prompto Argentum.

The music swelled and the doors open. Down the aisle, the bride Lady Alise came, escorted by the king himself.

Then to everyone’s immense confusion, as soon as they got to the end of the aisle, Lady Alise handed His Majesty to her groom and took a seat in the front row, leaving royal retinue at the altar.

“Welcome ladies and gentlemen. For those of you who don’t know me, I am Lord Niks Silveira. The invitations said my sister, Lady Alise Silveira would be marrying Count Ignis Scientia today, that was a misprint,” Niks announced.

“Instead we’re gathered here today wed His Majesty, Noctis Lucis Caelum CXIV to his three lovers, Count Ignis Scientia, Lord Gladiolus Amicitia and Lord Prompto Argentum,” Niks said with smile.

The room fell silent, only broke by the sound of Lady Alise’s clapping and Lady Aranea’s wolf whistle.

What?!!!!!!

-.-.-

-Thirty Minutes Ago-

_“Sure. Let’s all get married,” Noctis said, a little surprised with himself at how easily he agreed._

_“Noct?” Prompto asked._

_Noctis licked his lips. “I don’t want to hide any of you,” he said. “So sure. Let the public know about us. I'm King. I can do whatever I want. And I really want to be able to kiss you three whenever I want.”_

_Gladio reached over to kiss him fiercely._

_“Gladio!” Prompto whined. “I wanted to do that!”_

_“I concur,” Ignis said, sounding equally put out._

_“Too slow,” Gladio said, grinning like the cat that got the cream._

-.-.-

“So let me get this straight,” Aranea said. “You and Specs were engaged as kids and everyone in Insomnia knew that.”

Alise sipped her wine and nodded. The festivities were over and public had gone. The chocolate wedding cake was demolished and Noctis was half asleep on Prompto. Iris was berating Gladiolus over something and that left Aranea, Ignis and Alise in the corner with the last bottle of wine.

“Then you guys broke up because Specs here was head over heels for big guy,” Aranea said. “And not everyone got the memo.”

“Because I can be discreet,” Ignis said with a huff.

“And then those dorks went on a road trip and got into a foursome despite all the whole world saving, daemons and gods going on,” Aranea said.

“Sounds about right,” Alise said.

“This whole wedding nonsense started off because Ignis picked you up, hugged you and kissed you on the cheek when you reunited in front of Ravus of all people,” Aranea said.

“He didn’t even introduce me to the King!” Alise bemoaned. “He could have avoided all of this by saying, this woman is practically my little sister, Alise.”

“My manners were deplorable,” Ignis said glumly, taking a swing of his wine.

“Ravus, instead of just asking Ignis, instead asked the first person he came across, the cactuar kid, Talcott,” Aranea said.

“How does Talcott not know about you four!” Alise accused.

“He was eight the last time he saw the four of us!” Ignis snapped back.

Alise threw up her hands. “You’re impossible.”

Aranea laughed. “And somehow between Ravus and Talcott, the rumors went crazy and the next thing you knew, you were planning wedding,” she said.

“Yes,” Alise said miserably.

“Do I even want to know what the rumors will say tomorrow?” Ignis asked.

“They’re going to be gushing about how absolutely cute the four of you are,” Alise said. “I made sure everyone got to hear that absolutely wonderful story about the time you three had to save Noctis from a pack of sabertusks. And the time you all got sick except for Prompto and he was the one taking care of you all. Oh and that the time you four raised a chocobo chick. And the time everyone got turned into frogs excepted Noctis and there were no more Maiden’s Kiss. And the time with that one woman daemon hunt where she failed to seduce any of you.”

Aranea looked at her with glee. “I haven’t even heard any of those stories!”

“I regret telling you anything,” Ignis said, pained.

“Prompto had pictures,” Alise said.

“That makes it worse,” Ignis groaned.

“That makes it better,” Aranea said, grinning.

“And your reputation Alise?” Ignis asked.

“Oh didn’t you know?” Alise said, amused. “I’ve been dating Lady Highwind for the last three months.”

“That’s new me,” Aranea said.

“Hmm, that’s what Ignis was hoping would happen when he introduced me to you,” Alise said, sipping her wine “We’ll have a nice mutual nice breakup in two weeks, once people get sick of talking about this wedding.”

“Oh?” Aranea said, leaning forward. She bopped Alise on the nose. “And what if I want it to continue?”

Alise squeaked and dropped her glass.

“How about dinner tomorrow at 6?” Aranea asked.

Alise let out a strangled noise. “Ignis, I think I had too much wine. A beautiful woman just asked me out to dinner.”

“Thank you, you’re a pretty girl too,” Aranea said, flirting back.

“Ha! How the tables have flipped,” Ignis said, smug. “Aranea, she likes sushi.”

“Sushi, got it,” Aranea said. “I know one of the merchants set up a restaurant that is serving fresh fish. So pretty girl, date tomorrow?”

“Y-yes!” Alise said.

“I leave her in your hands, Aranea,” Ignis said with a smile.

-.-.-

“So, who wants to explain?” Noctis asked.

He woke up snug against Gladio’s side (which he was not complaining), but what was surprising was the fact that they were in the car. Suddenly it felt like it was ten years ago and they were starting off on that road trip that changed everything about them and the world.

“It’s our honeymoon,” Gladio said.

“We get a honeymoon?” Noctis asked.

“Apparently yes,” Ignis said, parking the car.

To Noctis delight, Ignis had pulled to a stop in Galdin Quary. The outpost hadn’t been rebuilt, the damages from the daemons still lingering. But the sounds of waves washing against the sands, the soft cry of the seagulls could be heard.

“Still looks beautiful, despite the destruction,” Prompto said.

“We should look into rebuilding it soon,” Noctis said fondly. “Wait, if the four us are here who is running the country?”

“Niks and Alise… _convinced_ Cor to act as your regent,” Ignis said, opening the trunk and pulling out the bags. “So we have a week to ourselves.”

“Explains why he looked like he wanted to get into the car with us,” Gladio said with a laugh. He grabbed the tent and four chairs.

“Those two are kinda terrifying,” Noctis said. Ignis’ adopted siblings were a force to be reckoned. Neither of them looked like it, but well, here was Noctis, married to the three men he loved more than anything else, an idea he thought he would never have.

“Camping just like old times,” Prompto said with a fond sigh.

“What is this bag?” Ignis said, pulling out a small black bag. He opened it and immediately dropped it, blushing a bright red.

“Iggy?” Gladio asked.

Ignis just blushed harder, picking out a letter that was tucked into the bag. “Six, where did she even find these? I swear, Alise.”

“What did she do now?” Prompto asked, leaning over Ignis’ shoulder to see.

Ignis held up a bottle of lube and several boxes of condoms. “Alise says ‘Have fun’.”

Noctis laughed. “Let’s put her gift to good use.”

**Author's Note:**

> *muses* Alise is the best wingwoman. 
> 
> (But Aranea sweeps everyone off the board) 
> 
> Please leave a review on your way out.


End file.
